no countdown, please

i know the time is flying with the speed that i cant imagine
but i just cant ..
just cant accept that i will be leaving
I AM LEAVING ??
huh
kidding, right
i will leave my parent, Ray and my relative
lots and lots of gathering
lots and lots of farewell
heart and mind keep fighting
heart told me to accept it
mind said no, i cant
heart said you must be tough cause more and more farewell in the future
mind ...
ya
heart is right
more and more farewell in the future
now im just leaving to study why i treat it like im dying
but i really unwilling to leave